Frida Kahlo’s stirring existence

I am that clumsy human, always loving, loving, loving. And loving. And never leaving.

Frida Kahlo is one of the most influential personalities of the last century that left her work behind to inspire and be admired. There is something extraordinary about this artist — the deepness and emotions that her work conveys are beyond words. Her creation reaches the heart of the audience and struck them to relish the moment.

Kahlo lived her life like art. As a young woman left bedridden, she developed her own style and taste. Leaving the world behind, she was creating honest art. As she said, ‘They thought I was a surrealist, but I wasn’t. I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality.’ Not only her work but her life in itself is an inspiration. Brimmed with desires, turmoil, and anguish, her paintings let the audience touches these emotions. A creator coinciding art and life.

The words, written for her lover speaks the passion and fondness. Kahlo married her lover Diego Riviera and the couple traveled the world together. Their love was mysterious and transcendent that brought pain with numerous infidelities as well as joy from deep yearning.

I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light, and your warmth.

She tried to grasp the love, understand it, and feel it. But the immensity was difficult to hold or to even see. She wanted to draw her love. Concretize her feelings.

Frida & Diego Riviera, 1931

I’d like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love…

I notice that I’m with you. At that instant full of sensations, my hands are sink in oranges, and my body feels surrounded by your arms.

There is chaos in her soul. Emotions leading to confusion that makes everything rapid and electric. To understand the deepness, one often dives deep — amid the abyss, filth, and fear. This starts with spirit and courage. To understand love, there must be courage and willingness as she said,

Only one mountain can know the core of another mountain.

It wasn’t about love only. There is something else that characterizes humanity — struggles and suffering. She went through great physical and mental suffering throughout her life. And she poured the pain in her work,

My painting carries with it the message of pain.

Fighting with our inner demons is another struggle. Ruminating over secrets, regrets, guilt, weaknesses, and desires waves its own path to agony. To beat it up, we operate different tactics —oppressing, denying or giving up.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

But she had the strength to go on. An ability that makes us marvel at ourselves; how can we take in so much and swallow. Being resilient, after all, helps us progress day by day.

At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.

Self-portrait with loose hair

Taking a step ahead, after learning to accept and see beyond our struggles, we drift toward noticing the struggles of humanity. There arises a desire to feel empathy and understand others’ emotions. Thinking about the poor and the unfortunate. We often forget that there exists greater pain, difficulties, different lives, and various perspectives.

Unfortunately, life is terrible for some people and a speck of thought and help can be the greatest deed to accomplish. Frida was conscious of this need and she perfectly summed up her feelings,

High society here turns me off and I feel a bit of rage against all these rich guys here, since I have seen thousands of people in the most terrible misery without anything to eat and with no place to sleep.
It is terrifying to see the rich having parties day and night while thousands and thousands of people are dying of hunger.

And she didn’t fear death: the obvious inevitable end and nothingness.

I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return.

Rumination

There are times when the existence seems like a burden. A work unfinished or the person’s mockery wreck the heart as it never should. The sense of individuality increases, up to the point to annihilate the existence of anything else.

Then, we wonder. How? When it all happened? When those childish worries took the form of this mature-ish stress. Where was that turning point? Where are those stupid dreams? Where went that time when you thought that your first crush is going to be your soulmate – the first and the last partner?

Regardless, it happened. Everything changed. And now we are left behind to sort all out. By ourselves. Aren’t we mature enough yet?

Dreaming success and love. A greater future, full of roses. Loved ones beside and financial success at your feet. Isn’t this enough to measure your happiness? Fame and money!

Then we say that the world is cruel. Humanity is drifting away. But don’t we prefer the same?

Longing

Tonight
is going to be cruel
A solemn, dreary blackness
Misty blue mountains
grieving from my flashy window
longing for someone
asking for a loved one
one who is lost
in commonness
someone far away
living in an odd sphere
of time and space
enjoying a lovely evening
maybe
worrying maybe, loving maybe
crying maybe or denying maybe
you can never see
never know
never console

Just imagine
and love

Quote

Poesia

 

Dreary nights with a longing
to meet him
the smile was exquisite and
when he asked if I’m the one to come from
the heavenly sky
I said yes
with a blissful smile
and a throbbing heart
the desire to meet you
was unconquering
my love
it was a nightmare
that distance
those long days
that’s why I came here
finally
crossing the five seas
to see you with these blessed eyes
that have been crying for you
to recreate that moment
that delightful scene
that coincided us
five eternities ago
O my dear I came here
only for you
I say
only for you

Quote

Lost Love Saga

 

New eve new love
White flakes brown shrubs
Sun dwindles children mingles
It’s a happy day

Smiles are shining
Beauty is lurking
Still, the heart is sad
the lack is vast
colossal & heavy

Body is depressed
and these eyes are suppressed
chalky-white with a wild-rest

How this void will be filled
That’s the question whispered with a thrill

O my dear
My dearest
Emotions are curses
I say
love is evil

Yet, I desire to
ignite the flames
initiate our love tale
but I fear
it will end me up
in a mournful cage

This way concludes
A love saga that happened to be
AS COMMON AS STUPID

Sweet Beats (Part I)

Those eyes, beautiful
and delightful,
caged me forever.
My heart flew
away with joy
and
left me bereft like ever.

I cried, whined, sobbed
and declared,
It was you!
King of my dreams and
cause of my misery.

It felt like a havoc in my dear heaven.

There was a strange
pleasure whatsoever.
And gratefulness
for my fancies.
Hate lacked in the end,
I say,
in my lament defense.
And I’m again thankful
to you, my love,
for endowing me
with such a great sense.

For once and forever.

Such intensity within
those eyes,
smiling and loving
glazing and shining
will be my treasure forever.

Untold Story

At the root of all misery is unfulfilled desire- Scott Hahn (Pinterest)

There is a strange weight prowling inside my body. An agonizing suffocation of a feeling that is left untold. It was there for years- shut down in a remote corner of my heart. I tried to kill this cursed feeling, devastate it, murder it but it each time it emerges like an almighty angel.

We are all broken, that’s how the light gets in— Ernest Hemingway

I say it’s my inspiration- my muses, that makes me neurotic and help me down in work. This thought comforts me. But how do I say that this damned state is wretched and heartless- reminding me of the things I never had, the person I never had.

Coming back each night with its misery and sadness

My lifelong efforts haven’t been successful in repressing it as it came back last night and said, ‘Hey it’s you! I’m not only inside you but I’m you!’