Frida Kahlo’s stirring existence

I am that clumsy human, always loving, loving, loving. And loving. And never leaving.

Frida Kahlo is one of the most influential personalities of the last century that left her work behind to inspire and be admired. There is something extraordinary about this artist — the deepness and emotions that her work conveys are beyond words. Her creation reaches the heart of the audience and struck them to relish the moment.

Kahlo lived her life like art. As a young woman left bedridden, she developed her own style and taste. Leaving the world behind, she was creating honest art. As she said, ‘They thought I was a surrealist, but I wasn’t. I never painted dreams. I painted my own reality.’ Not only her work but her life in itself is an inspiration. Brimmed with desires, turmoil, and anguish, her paintings let the audience touches these emotions. A creator coinciding art and life.

The words, written for her lover speaks the passion and fondness. Kahlo married her lover Diego Riviera and the couple traveled the world together. Their love was mysterious and transcendent that brought pain with numerous infidelities as well as joy from deep yearning.

I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light, and your warmth.

She tried to grasp the love, understand it, and feel it. But the immensity was difficult to hold or to even see. She wanted to draw her love. Concretize her feelings.

Frida & Diego Riviera, 1931

I’d like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love…

I notice that I’m with you. At that instant full of sensations, my hands are sink in oranges, and my body feels surrounded by your arms.

There is chaos in her soul. Emotions leading to confusion that makes everything rapid and electric. To understand the deepness, one often dives deep — amid the abyss, filth, and fear. This starts with spirit and courage. To understand love, there must be courage and willingness as she said,

Only one mountain can know the core of another mountain.

It wasn’t about love only. There is something else that characterizes humanity — struggles and suffering. She went through great physical and mental suffering throughout her life. And she poured the pain in her work,

My painting carries with it the message of pain.

Fighting with our inner demons is another struggle. Ruminating over secrets, regrets, guilt, weaknesses, and desires waves its own path to agony. To beat it up, we operate different tactics —oppressing, denying or giving up.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

But she had the strength to go on. An ability that makes us marvel at ourselves; how can we take in so much and swallow. Being resilient, after all, helps us progress day by day.

At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.

Self-portrait with loose hair

Taking a step ahead, after learning to accept and see beyond our struggles, we drift toward noticing the struggles of humanity. There arises a desire to feel empathy and understand others’ emotions. Thinking about the poor and the unfortunate. We often forget that there exists greater pain, difficulties, different lives, and various perspectives.

Unfortunately, life is terrible for some people and a speck of thought and help can be the greatest deed to accomplish. Frida was conscious of this need and she perfectly summed up her feelings,

High society here turns me off and I feel a bit of rage against all these rich guys here, since I have seen thousands of people in the most terrible misery without anything to eat and with no place to sleep.
It is terrifying to see the rich having parties day and night while thousands and thousands of people are dying of hunger.

And she didn’t fear death: the obvious inevitable end and nothingness.

I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return.

Ode to women: Maya Angelou (I)

I’ve known some extraordinary women in my life. Known them through books, virtual or everyday life. Women who made me realize the beauty; the beauty of life and womanhood. I like to say that I have each part of these women, yet, they always inspire me to be authentic and original.

My mother, my favorite singer, my best friend, my teachers and favorite writers are my muses. Women who surround me and those who stir me. This is why when I read the verses of Maya Angelou, it feels like encountering a storm. A reality that shakes you up, a calamity that was bound to happen to revive you, to bring you back in existence. She comes to remind me of the value that love holds— love for yourself, trust and power that lies within a fragile body. The power that cannot be found at any other place and must not be given away.

She makes me believe that I don’t need anyone to appreciate me or to make me realize how capable or good I am. It is a lesson girl that you ought to learn by yourself. ‘You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody,’ she says.

When I feel crushed down by the standards of modern beauty; something that makes all of these pretty young women suffer. Suffer to the extreme point. But here she comes to whisper in the silent, dreary nights saying, ‘I’m not cute or built to fit a model size but I’m phenomenal.’ Waking us again from the dream of lies.

The magic lies in the eyes. She has the power, an absolute power, an inner potential that surpasses the world’s arrogance.

When I think about my first love; he with whom I never shared a word, yet he stays with me until the last breath of consciousness in the night. I feel bruised by my own feebleness, my own decisions, and my own emotions. I saw the enemy that doesn’t stand in front of me but stays inside of me. The greatest foe who can’t be beaten and can’t be a friend.

She appears again from the thick clouds of tangled thoughts. She came to console me; reminding the desires will change and dreams will fade away in the distant memory.

Men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

She learned the lesson with a bitter experience. But she wrote it down to help us choose the right way. Saving us from the rough and tough path.

Not everything we desire is full of roses. Soft and delightful made just for us to walk. We can become blind to reality but only to the extent we want. But ‘life loves the liver of it.’ And you must think of living and learning from it.